Introduction
If you ask anyone, including dads, “What makes a great father?” you would get many different answers. Why? For one reason, amongst many, their answers would be influenced by their experience with their father or other dads they know.
In this post I share a story about my father who behaved differently at different stages of his life. To me, his behaviour later in life seemed to contradict his earlier action but later made sense to me taking into account the different stages of his life when they happened. I hope the example showa how dads (including myself) might act in different ways in different situations and is probably worth remembering this Father’s Day.
A young Dad
When I was about 10 years old, me and my family travelled overseas to visit family and friends. While we drove to visit one of them dad warned us from the front seat, if we touched anything in the house we would regret it. Thinking that prevention was the best cure to breaking something valuable, his warning was along the lines of not getting dinner or being sent to bed early or worse. Of course, on that visit we were on our best behaviour and we were complimented how good we were.
A Grandad
Many years later, my kids and I went to visit my dad, their “Pop”. Because of the above memory I gave the same warning to my children on the way to prevent anything being broken in the house.
We arrived and dad let us in. He brought in toys for the children to play with and placed them on the loungeroom floor. However, no sooner did he put the toys down then the children got up and started changing the channels on the TV and looking on shelves and in drawers to find more interesting things to play with.
One thing my young mind didn’t realise was the difference between 10 and 5-years olds. Do, when they started touching everything, like really young children do, their actions shocked me and I warned them to stop and play with the toys on the floor instead.
To my surprise, however, while I was giving the warning, dad tapped my arm and said, it was ok, let them play.
Hearing him say this made me wonder if the man was my dad or an imposter? I couldn’t believe he said that because it was not the stern warning I received as a boy. In spite of my amazement, the event helped me relax and we were all still happy by the time we left.
Reflection
Since those days, as a dad maturing over time, I now recognise that different circumstances at different stages of life impact how we behave. No doubt this was no different for my father.
- When I was in the back seat of the car going to my relative’s house, we were old enough to know better and my father probably gave his warning to help us make a good impression visiting our family and family friends.
- Later, when my children and I went to visit him, there was a difference in age between me and my children and my father was grateful we visited him.
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Conclusion
So, from this experience, I suggest helps to know that dad’s (let alone most people) can behave differently in different situations. Over time, we can learn to relax more so that experiences like visiting family or others, will be fun from start to end. Not before and after. Fortunately, I can report my children’s behaviour has matured and hopefully they learn similar lessons to pass on to their children..
I’d be interested if you would like to share an experience you had with your dad that helped change your behaviour for the better. Feel free to write your memories below.